Musings on Formation I.

I wish I could know what specific moments changed my life. What series of events needed to occur, what people did I need to come in contact with, what food did I need to eat, in order to come up with the equation that equals the person that I am today? Could anything up until this moment have been left out for me to turn out in the same way? What person would I be if any variable in my timeline had changed? These are big questions to tackle, and who would know the answers to them?

There’s also the issue of much of my childhood being lost to forgotten memories. I couldn’t tell you what I got for Christmas when I was six. Or what helped calm me down the most in a temper tantrum. What if these memories exactly translate to who I am today but I can’t remember them? It makes me feel like there’s some missing piece in this self formation journey. But then again, perhaps this missing piece is just another piece of the puzzle (if that makes any sense at all). Maybe I need to rediscover what makes me, me and in that process I’ll grow even more as my own person.

I believe this journey of self formation doesn’t just happen in the “formative” childhood years, but is always occuring. Maybe not every little thing I experience radically changes my life, but I do believe that every moment has at least a small impact on my personhood. There are always new perspectives and new voices to learn from. I cherish that I get to be everchanging, and hopefully growing into a better me. 

So if every moment has at least a tiny impact on me and the way I experience life, then maybe there are no earth-shattering-life-changing moments. Maybe what I do with what I have right now is all that there ever could be. In that case I should probably take better care of my little moments. Or at least spend some less time on my phone.

Okay ladies, now let’s get in formation.

Natasha Schuyler, Art Editor.